At long last, in this revival of Sex and the City, someone other than Brady is having sex! And in the vein of a sexy Clue game:
It’s Hobbes, isn’t it? Here we are, in Carrie’s house, cooking! Tequila and the likes of Che are required for this one. And how exactly did this fling come about? Carrie’s hip is the root of the problem. Remember, she’s 50 years old.
And Just Like That… Tragically Hip
Seema, Carrie’s new closest friend, comes over to view Carrie’s flat while she’s out with her pals. Carrie is unable to ascend the stairs without the aid of an umbrella that has been transformed into a cane. With a “old lady back,” she claims she’ll be OK.
Seema tells you that this is not the day. After that, she phones her orthopedist cousin and arranges for her to see him right away. Seema is the kind of buddy that everyone needs: As an orthopaedic surgeon, she can get water stains on your ceiling fixed within 24 hours, wears head-to-toe satin, and can eat without wearing a bib (do you think she does?). How can I see this from the perspective of a peasant? She’s a wonderful person.
Rather than “old lady back,” Carrie discovers she has a congenital hip problem and will need surgery to fix it. She’s afraid to go it alone, as if that were even a possibility at this point. Charlotte already has a plan in place so that she, Miranda, or Anthony can be there for Carrie 24 hours a day, seven days a week, as needed, as she recovers from surgery. Carrie Bradshaw’s biggest concern right now is that she won’t be able to wear heels for a few months—the truest hardship for her.
Carrie, Dressed in Her Pearls and a Cardigan
Carrie, dressed in her pearls and a cardigan, is immediately surrounded by Charlotte and Miranda after surgery. The call from Che, who is visiting Carrie in the hospital, interrupts Miranda’s time with Charlotte, who is busy assisting Carrie urinate — a job that seems tailor-made for her. After Miranda tells Carrie to come up and tells them to, Carrie warns him that it is a bad idea. The cafeteria at the hospital is where Miranda and Che enjoy lunch together, when Che talks about how they’ve been trapped their entire lives and how liberating it was to finally be themselves. Because she quit her law company because she felt trapped, Miranda is showing signs of being inspired by Che’s notion to apply it to other aspects of her life.
Few Days Later
Che shows over at Carrie’s apartment a few days later with a professional microphone (for the at-home podcasting, you see) and a bottle of tequila, and she appears to be inspired once more. Carrie’s medications have knocked her asleep, so Miranda is the one to meet Che at the door and take them up on their offer of tequila shots (after a quick primping session in the bathroom).
Things are getting a little steamy in that kitchen after a few drinks. Miranda is so smitten with Che that she invites him to shoot their joint again. There isn’t a lot of time between that shotgun and Che giving her the best orgasm of her life, and it doesn’t take long for that make-out session to transition into Che. Folks, that was an incredibly productive afternoon.
The best efforts of Che and Miranda to keep things quiet so that Carrie doesn’t wake up have been in vain. Having awoken in the midst of the chaos, Carrie sees the entire spectacle in her bathroom mirror and is left to wait it out.
After that, she has to go to the bathroom. Carrie pees in a Snapple bottle because the person who was supposed to help her to the bathroom is otherwise unavailable. She then promptly spills the contents of the container on her linens. Carrie had hoped her rehabilitation would be as enjoyable as this.
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Carrie and Samantha, in addition to Miranda and Che, make significant strides in their romance. Carrie decides to record her podcast while high on pills after her operation because, you know, podcasting is life. After Samantha Jones had to help her diaphragm out of her vagina (in season two, episode six), she narrates the story during the taping. Samantha’s full name is also mentioned. Charlotte, who is present throughout, advises Carrie to consider giving Samantha a heads-up.
Carrie’s initial reaction is to text her ex-friend and say, “My vagina, my story.” “One of my greatest hours” and “I’m delighted my vagina is getting some airtime” are just some of the things Samantha says Carrie in her first text back to her in a while. As soon as Carrie texts back with a “I miss you,” she gets the dreaded three-dot blip, which eventually vanishes without any more communication.
Carrie may have exerted too much effort. It’s a step forward at the very least, right? However, without Kim Cattrall’s involvement, where will this plot arc go? What about an impromptu London vacation at the end of the finale?